Blessed

I can't believe that in two days I start my Masters program! God has truly blessed my life and orchestrated each moment leading up to this. I am so thankful for a loving husband who supports and encourages this calling each and every day. God called me to Children's Ministry in April of 2012. It was an audible, physical call....not to be denied on any level. I knew at that moment that I was undoubtedly called to children's ministry. It's no secret to those around me that I love kids, I love teaching,I love God, and I love evangelism....my mom says this calling combines it all :-) Children's ministers have always caught my eye...and I always thought that to be a children's minister would be an amazingly fun job (second only in being Miss Patty Cake...the singing evangelist on my kiddos DVDs), but I never thought I was qualified to do such a thing. Children ministers were older and had it all together! I knew I was called to the ministry and surrendered to it my Senior year of high school, but in true fashion...that'd mean I'd be a pastors wife, right?!? I wasn't sure what that calling meant, but I'd always kind of hated the phrasing "called to the ministry" because aren't we all? I frequently thought of that calling as the years went on and waited...but beyond that, looked at my life in each season and situation and tried to use that as ministry. I married a military man...we move often! Ministry to military families. I worked for a little bit after we got married at an After-School program...that meant ministry to kids and the workers there...maybe even parents who picked up their kiddos. I had my own kids...ministry to them. I mean, after all, the first Christian your child ever meets is you. I became a leader in MOPs at our church...ministry there. I made my life not about that calling, but about serving Christ and others wherever He had me...and whenever I'd sometimes think back to that moment in high school where I surrendered...I'd think, well...this must be my ministry. I do believe that at all of those times, in all of those moments, I was doing the ministry that God had for me...until 2011 hit. We moved to a small town and started attending a prominent church, but with a struggling children's ministry. I plugged in and decided to help where I could. Not very far into "just helping", did it consume me. I wasn't able to sleep because I was thinking of kids or rearranging classrooms or researching curriculum. I'd be washing dishes and an idea for our children's ministry would come to me. I'd be relaxing and watching TV and have to turn it off because I wasn't paying attention and all I could do was write and diagram and pray for this ministry. As I started to speak up and implement new safety programs and new curriculum and love on the children...I fell more and more in love with ministry to children. I'd look at their little faces each Sunday or Wednesday and break inside wanting nothing more for these children than to feel the love of Christ in all of their being and accept Him as their Savior someday. I'd go to the grocery store and be burdened for kids I had never seen before...it was truly a new passion in my heart that I could not extinguish even when I tried. Through the whole process of stepping out and helping...God also showed me that with his help I was capable too! Me....I thought I was just a wife and stay at home mom after years of feeling like that's all I do. Skill? Leave that to working moms...sure I had a degree in Education, but what does that mean when you're not doing anything with it? (I do realize I was and am educating my children, etc.)...but in the woe is me state...I didn't. I am so thankful for the hard moments at our church where God showed me not only was I passionate about reaching kids for Christ from infancy on...but I was also capable! I had knowledge others may not have, but more than anything I had HIM leading. As I dug deeper and deeper in our ministry at church, I drove home from a meeting one day...cried all the way home burdened with the ministry...and simply said, "Lord, what are you trying to tell me? What do you want me to do? I'm just a stay at home mom....I love this ministry. Please tell me!" It was that instantaneous moment that a physical feeling passed through my body that I felt from my head to my toes...I leaned over on a bookshelf that was in our computer room, and I wept as I heard the voice of my Savior saying, "Ashley, you are children's minister." Even in my tears, I audibly said, "What? No, I'm not." "Ashley, you are a children's minister." That was it for me. I knew. I called my husband at work, a royal "no,no" in the military ;-), but got ahold of him and told him exactly what happened. My husband is sweet and kind, faithful to his Savior and lives a life of humility I could only wish to, but is not a great decision maker....let me rephrase, great...but not quick! I thought I'd relay the story and he'd tell me "Well, lets think about this and wait and see, etc." Ben simply said, "Well, honey, that doesn't surprise me at all. I've never seen you as happy or as passionate about anything other than this. I'm glad you finally know." WHAT? Huh...so the man knew, but didn't tell me?!? Good grief! We ended our brief phone call and I took a few days to let the magnitude of responsibility and happiness of the responsibility sink in. From that point on, I was a children's minister. I may not hold that official title in a church, but I know that's what God has called me to. I've devoured books that Amazon has to offer and attended Group's KidMin this past fall (I highly recommend it and will be going this fall too!), but I still want more knowledge....thus my Masters in Children's Ministry. I know to be a children's minister you don't need a degree in it, but for me, it's about making me the best I can be so that I can have the most knowledge to be the most effective in ministry for the kids that God will place in my path one day. I am so excited to see what God has in store, but also overwhelmed with the depth of the calling. I pray each and every day that I will disappear more and more and God will mold me and make me into an instrument that He can use to bring others to Him and glory to His name. I am so blessed to start this journey with support from all sides, and I only hope that each day I work on my school work: teaching practices, learning styles, theology, theories, church formation, leadership....I hope amidst the facts I never miss the Father. If you want to pray for me on my journey, I won't turn you down! I've never juggled military wife, mom, and full-time student, but I have a peace that passes understanding that I am walking step by step exactly where God wants me. I pray the same for each of you! Life's circumstances can sometimes be suprising, sometimes hard, and sometimes flat out confusing...you know what God wants you to do, but you can't see "the end"....sometimes you can't even see the path to get there, but worry not! You don't have to see the path...because if you're walking hand in hand with the One who is leading you...you'll get to 'the end' one day...and be able to look back and be thankful for every step of the journey, knowing when you were blind, confused, or tired...you followed where your Savior lead each and every step of the way. God's blessings to you all!