Miscarriage

Miscarriage?
I was sitting here thinking of this word today. What exactly does it mean? The term has bothered my heart, made me nauseous, and resulted in convulsions of tears. I know what the medical definition of a miscarriage is; I’m familiar with the common view of what a woman means when she says, “I had a miscarriage.” I know all too well. I know what it feels like to know that you carried a life within you…and then, in an instant, before your arms were able to hold that sweet life…it was no more. I know what it’s like to have flashes of memories never made….to look at your precious children and think, “One’s missing…”I know.

But, I didn’t have a miscarriage. I simply did not have a miscarriage. The definition of the prefix mis-
mis-
1 a prefix applied to various parts of speech, meaning “ill,” “mistaken,” “wrong,” “wrongly,” “incorrectly,” or simply negating: mistrial;

Mistakenly carried? No.
Wrongly carried? No.
Incorrectly carried? No.
Negating? Absolutely not.

I carried a child. My Savior knit that child together in my womb. Can my mind comprehend why I am not anxiously awaiting the arrival of my 3rd baby in July? Why I’m not reading to my children about how to take care of a baby and what is in mommy’s belly? Can my mind comprehend why I had to go through this…haven’t I been a faithful servant? Why will I never hold my child? Why I won’t ever know what he/she looked like? The answer is…I can’t truly comprehend it. I can’t wrap my head around it. I don’t understand, and He knows I don’t understand. The fact of the matter though, is that there was nothing ‘mis-‘ about how I carried my child or the perfect creation my sweet baby was. I serve a sovereign God…He is the same today as He was before I lost my precious baby….I may not always ‘feel’ that, but I know it. I know that His plans are not my plans and His ways are not my ways. I also know that every life is fearfully and wonderfully made, a creation of His hands. I never got to ‘see’ the life that I carried, but I know that my precious baby was fearfully and wonderfully made….and fearfully and wonderfully loved. I did not have a miscarriage…I carried my baby perfectly, the way that God intended for my life. It may not be what I would have chosen; I may not fully understand why He chose to never let me touch, see, smell, hold….sing to…read to…my child; but my precious baby was carried…carried as God intended for our lives…carried correctly…carried perfectly. Carried…straight from my womb to my Father’s hands…never knowing sorrow or hurt…always knowing peace. There’s not really much more perfect that going from one who would love you to the moon and back into the arms of the One who created the moon.

My sweet baby is no longer here, but I did not have a miscarriage. My Savior knows the answers to my questions; all I need to know is that He’s sovereign and that all of His creations are fearfully and wonderfully made, hand-crafted and formed to bring glory to Him. I shall praise Him…choose to praise Him…forever grateful for a blessing…a blessing…a perfect, sweet blessing.

Transformational vs. Transactional

Is it true that to be a transformational leader you have built in personality and emotional traits that lend you to leading in such a way? I do believe that certain people are gifted in areas of personality and emotions that lend them to naturally be transformational leaders. However, I do believe that leadership is simply a call to stand up when God calls you to something. I do not think that all cases of leadership are planned or a choice, but I do believe that is most cases, they are a choice of obedience to God. I also believe that God equips those that He calls to fulfill the purposes that He has for them at certain times throughout their life. I’m not sure I’ve come to a strong conclusion as to whether transformational leadership is born or made, but I do believe that leadership is a gift given by God for specific times within someone’s life and that God will equip those He calls.
That conclusion brought me to my second and third questions. To be transformational while leading in ministry, does that mean you must be transformed yourself and allow God to daily transform your heart to what His would want versus what is so inherently human-natured, the transactional approach? Is the transactional approach easiest to our built-in human nature? I believe the answer to these questions is yes. I do believe that God equips those that He calls, but I also believe that transformational leadership is a result of a transformed heart that is no longer focused on self. Our human nature lends us to be focused on self and lead in a transactional style which often benefits self. So, as leaders within ministry, we must remember Romans 12:2 which says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” In my opinion, transformational leadership is a daily choice to transform and new our minds to follow God and lead as He would have us to. Transformational leadership is a result of a moment by moment following of God and a deep rooted relationship to do His will.

"I Will Carry You"